Being dishonest with the other

Wiggia brings a true story:

A young man, now in his early forties who worked for me some years ago and has remained a friend along with his family has inadvertently discovered that he has lost everything.

The story goes that some twenty years ago, he met a girl, they subsequently married and had a daughter, his wife when he met her had finished a relationship with another man and she remained in the house they purchased and shared.

He was a bit of a wild young man and she was the best thing that could have happened to him, certainly on a personal level, but he didn’t want to live in the house so it was sold and they were given a golden opportunity to start afresh when a free cottage on a beautiful Tudor manored estate was offered in return for really just being there, as the owners had other properties in London and abroad.

This was a golden opportunity to save, as with no outgoings apart from food and the usual everyday items, that sort of chance is very rare and they took it and have been there for fifteen years.

Last summer the inevitable happened, as all good things come to an end and the owners, now getting on in years told them they were selling the manor house and consequently their contract would cease.

My friend was not unduly worried as throughout the fifteen years he had been saving so that when this day arrived they could go out and buy their own place.

But there was a problem. `My friend, not being very bright with money matters, entrusted his wife with the banking, saving etc. and despite my incredulity, had never checked the bank statements in all that time.

I know, I know.

When they came to start looking at houses the secret could no longer be concealed – there was just a fraction in the account of what should have been there.

It transpires that the wife, being joint mortgagee on the house she had previously shared, was being pursued for the debt on the house as she had handed the keys in and her former partner had disappeared leaving her liable for the debt. The property was sold during the early nineties crash, leaving her with a mountain of liability.

She had obviously said nothing to my friend about this and had done a deal with the mortgage company to pay off the debt and had used – you guessed it – the savings that had accrued over the years, and although the debt is paid, there is little left and not enough, even with a mortgage, to buy a property of any sort in the area they reside in.

Surprisingly, despite not even talking to her for a couple of weeks and admitting to me that initially he was very near to doing something he would regret, they have stayed together and are now moving into a rented property.

The sad thing is the likelihood of them ever saving enough again for their own place is gone, probably for good.

As they say – life can be a bitch.

Wiggia is a decent chap and has a good heart. My view is that the situation I’m in I brought on myself. Sure I appreciate kind thoughts and the friendship of people but in the end, one is responsible for one’s affairs. And I apply this to the young man and his woman.

The saddest part is that they could not open up and have the issue out. Sooner or later they were going to have to and separated by this, they were in vastly more danger than if they’d worked together.

She was well out of order, no doubt at all and this relates to previous posts of course but equally, he let her do the banking? ???? Didn’t even check?

We’ve all made grievous errors, many times over but do we learn? This pair are where they are and one wonders if the lessons have been learned or not, especially by him.

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3 responses to “Being dishonest with the other

  1. You Trust the one you love and build your life together with, don’t you. It is axiomatic. Been there: done that. But let us be clear. Life ain’t the bitch. The bitch is the bitch.

  2. …for richer and poorer…..